Concept / naming / writing

I am pleased as punch to announce that the USPS – to whom I entrust my every envelope – has just published a booklet written by me. And furthermore, they have trademarked my title. Coming right now, to a Post Office near you…

Weddiquette™: The official guide to mailing your wedding invitations

© 2006 USPS
Weddiquette is a registered trademark of the United States Postal Service. All rights reserved.

Weddiquette™ is only one of several fab philatelic products recently designed by Michael Osborne Design (www.modsf.com) for the Postal Service. All the products match (natch) the lovey-dovey pair of wedding stamps issued on March 1, 2006,  designed by Michael, inspired by antique calligraphic illustration: a “love dove” with a tiny calligraphic heart nestled overhead. When the two stamps {39¢ lavender and 63¢ pale green} are used as a pair, the doves form a single heart shape.

You do not need to be a bride to want Weddiquette. Twelve practical pages. Two smart charts. How to address with finesse, from abbrevs. to ZIP ™ Codes. Avoiding Envelope Heartbreak Hotel. Diagrams with captivating captions.

You can buy Weddiquette à la carte. Or, you can buy it à la kit. Check out the Noteworthy Bridal Set, a keepsake box full of hearts-and-stripes stationery that is perfect for bridal correspondence – or everyday sweet nothing’s. Plus charming stickers for sealing envelopes, wrapping gifties, and renouncing tape.

You can see the entire entourage, up close and personal, at www.usps.com, and even order on-line.

Weddiquette is très cheap {and we aren’t xxxagerating}: $23.95, including a double-doozy booklet of stamps {(20 x 39¢) + (20 x 63¢) =  $20.40 worth of lovey-dovey postage}.

You can order by phone 24/7. It’s true, and it’s fun. Call 1-800-STAMP-24. Live operators are sitting by. You’ll need the official part number(s):

674887 - Weddiquette (including $20.40 worth of stamps) $23.95

674894 - Noteworthy Bridal Set (including Weddiquette and $7.80 worth of 39¢ stamps) $69.95

675387 - Thank You Cards & Envelopes (20, with $7.80 worth of 39¢ stamps) $14.95

675394 - Stationery Set (including $7.80 worth of 39¢ stamps) $14.95

Buy big: no matter how much or how many you buy, shipping is just $1. Such a dealuxe.

Requests for complimentary copies cannot be honored, cherished or obeyed. But re:ad this re:markable offer: If you send me a SASE (pronounced sassy), I will send you a tiny xxxcessory to personalize your copy of Weddiquette in an unmistakably Alysonian way. You will love it, cross my heart and bat my eyes.